Am I REALLY Doing this?

If I had a dollar for every time someone said ‘you should write a book’ I’d have like maybe $4.50. But in all seriousness, I’ve always wanted to write a book and also be a stand-up comedian. It’d take half a handle of vodka and probably some serious lapses in judgment for me to actually step foot onto a stage of any kind. Maybe trying my hand behind the keyboard is a better option, for now.

I wasn’t always funny, well, I didn’t always think I was funny. It wasn’t until college that I decided I thought I was funny. I lived with guys and they taught me to be quick witted. I have to thank them for helping me come out of my shell. It also wasn’t until I was an adult and felt like I could cuss around my parents without repercussion that I felt comfortable expressing my thoughts.

The honest to God truth is that I like to hide behind funny or else I’ll cry, and we’ll save the analytical bull for another day. I’m a mom, and plain and simple that means every single day is an absolute horror film. Not REALLY that bad, but somedays it's truly like I'm watching a horror flick on repeat. I like to post on facebook little blurbs about my day, and my goal is to make people laugh. If I can make you smile, or chuckle, I’ve done my job.

Being a mom is an insane thing that I won’t even begin to get into, so poking fun at myself and my ability or inability to parent helps me get through the day. I’m going to try to keep this up, I’m going to try to share my fortunes and misfortunes with everyone and hopefully, give you a laugh.

I’ll leave you with this. My husband travels for work and he was due back tonight. I was wearing my new Victoria Secret sweats that I got on clearance (holla!) not to be sexy, but to at least be in something clean. My newly potty trained son had just finished a particularly grueling poop and I asked him to bend down so I could wipe him. Rather than bending down, he sat down. His little un-wiped toosh landed on my clean, new, mint green Victoria’s Secret sweats. Welcome home honey. But seriously though, I did change back into my ‘already worn a few times’ other sweats that weren’t nearly as adorable, but less poopy. I don’t even think he’d have noticed, though.